HURRAY.... 3 DOWN, AND 3 TO GO.....

CMSK, MOS AND FRENCH....

Oh and add 1 more... Cmaths exam... I will only see u after my good chinese new year...

Ok anyway, my leg is still on bandage ever since Sat?! Kinda painful while walking but is better now. Especially i have went to see the doctor. And the doctor give me painful treatment to my leg. He go press on the places that hurt... Well never mind.... Is for my own recovery.. Dear leg, Please recover fast....

I have completed ANP, MMP and NMT projects and presentation. Weee tmr CMSK and next day MOS and the next day French and I can sleep like a log.

Haha anyway byebye

Hope to meet Carel, and the Rs and Jovi, MaoMao, Celeste, YunFang and etc for CNY...
I MISS U GUYS... Want see u all soon...

Bye

See ya

Hey ya, now i should be doing my work and projects but I want to blog cruz i felt miserable.

Ok let divide the miserable into 99% and 1%.

1% goes to having alot of projects needed to be done and hand up by this week and next week. It really a rush to do a lot of thing and i have not accomplish anything. So u know my mind is in a mess. Even doing MMP project on sketchbook, I have difficulty in choosing which to draw that I felt that my work is rubbish now.

99% goes to having my ear problem. People around me may not know but there are times when my ear can hear clearly and there are times when I cant hear clearly, more like I can hear blurry air sounds and there are times when I hear a high-pitch sound for awhile and it really hurts. So why do I feel miserable for 99% here?

First for the high pitch sound which maintain for a while is due to internal ear irritated. I asked the doctor once, and that what he says. But still its painful that the high pitch sound is there.

As there times when i cant hear clearly, is like you can only hear a type of sound coming clearer than other sound but is still like blurry. How do i explain it? Its kinda like a radio and a television playing at the same time, but I can only hear only 1 of them clearer than the others. But even though I can hear only 1 of them clearer, it doesnt mean I can hear really well. To me, that is a bother and it even worst if im in an air-conditioned room. I can hear the air con sound more than anything.

To me, I really feel so depressed to the fact that I will be totally silent. I know that if someone talk to me, and i asked again and again what he/she says, they will be pissed off. But its like i also doesnt want it. That why im totally silent like now. I have not spoke much today. That feeling is really torturing and miserable but I keep it quiet inside me. My heart feels like exploding and so heavy that I really want to cry.

Why do I become like this? Why? I wish I knew why. I wish I can change it. Having this ear problem is like having me feel burden a lot. I dont know how I can survive but I'll try. I dont want to be like this. I want to be normal. My life like my friends. No one around me can know the feeling of so helpless. I also fear... Fear that I might lose my hearing one day. When ever I imagine it, I felt so frightened that I really want to treasure everything that I can hear now and remember in my head. Voices of my friends, sounds from the enviroment... I have never tell my family anything about my problems, but yes they know about me only able to hear from right ear.

I shall stop here... Will really shed tear if I continue... hahas

See ya bye..

So long never update my this dead blog.

I have been busy doing movie for my project on Motion and Sound. And also been slacking despite the fact that I have tons of projects waiting for me to clear up. And i have been doing spring cleaning in my house. Cleared most of the stuff and went to buy 2 clothes from the money I have saved. Wonder what im doing the whole day today?!

I'm just surfing the youtube for videos, watching dance battle of the korean girl group and some variety shows of idol consist of SNSD, KARA, SHINee, 2PM. Seeing all those singer dancing and singing on the stage kinda make me miss the days i in loyang standing on the stage for COL and choir. I really love Color of loyang a lot. Kinda like my favourite performance. Since my first year, I have been joining Color of loyang and also joined the finale dance. It was fun and great. And despite it was tiring, going to school everyday and finish school, heading to the hall and practising. I loved the times I have been in COL.

That why I say I miss my times in loyang is when I'm in COL and also in Japan trip and of course my teachers and friends. Times changes a lot. I really miss performing on the stage. Wish I can have the chance to go and perform on a stage...

And i kinda miss her when I hear the song "One Year Later". I didnt hear her reply before she left because I was too busy with my projects and school. Maybe it just excuses or something to escape. But I kinda regret it. I wish I did call her or go down her block. But I keep forgetting. I even lost the keychain she gave me. To me, I cant forget it. I wish I can get back that keychain. I dun wan replacement of that keychain but only that item. It the first thing she gave me this year. But its gone....I cant find it anymore.

Bye, I have no mood for any work nor do I have motivation to do any projects. My mind is in a confused state that I have no motivation to do any works. Hope I wont get a scolding tomorrow.

Miss you

Today went out with 3Cs to chinatown for NMT work. But end up, we cant go in and we head to harbourfront for some shopping. For me, window shopping and eating. For the other 3, Carol, Carolyn and Cynthia are shopping. After Carol left us to meet her friends, we 3 continue walking around After that, i head back home alone. Went home and after eating and bathing went out again... To Giant to buy stuff with my mum and my sis and her bf. Went to Giant on his car and bought a lot back. I also eat sushi hahas.

Anyway, to Carel, Amanda and Allison, do u remember there's once we 4 went to do some work at charity and I was asked by Carel to go... I think tomorrow's charity i'm going with my cca, ITSC, will be the same 1 we going. Going to flats and ask for food for the needy. It will be fun. Because that time we went is so fun, tiring and worth it. Miss the times. And the funny thing about that day is I was in a team without carel, amanda and allison. Funny hahas. And I was in a team with Jia Min hahas and I survived.

Wish I could suvive tmr too... Early waking up...

And I still cannot forgive myself for losing that important thing to me. Hate myself.

Bye

Today is suppose to be a great day because she is going to come to TP to meet me and cynthia and doreen. After seeing my french result which is terrible, but i get to talk to and know David and WeiHeng, I went to buy straws at bookshop. Just nice, Carol finish her CDS and she also want go book shop. End up both of us going together. I want to buy straws for making heart to put inside the box with my present. I ended up buying 2 packets of red straw and Carol bought her material for her model.

We went back to concourse and I started making hearts with straws. Carol saw me doing and she suggested me putting paper with message into the heart. And of course I did and she was proud of suggesting that because I was so embassassed in writing it and had declined in doing so. But I did follow. And Carol went to ask Haikal, Cynthia and Carolyn about whether is it touching or not by doing the suggestion. Well they agreed and I end up doing it.

I had my whole hand fill with red colour dye due to the red straws. But I have much fun in making it and of course, I wrote everything and do everything. Then there's people selling chocolate and so on. They came to us and ask if we want to buy. And Carol, Carolyn and Cynthia were like "hey buy la for her..." Then of course I did.

After finishing up everything, we went to ITAS and just nice she called me while the rest are buying. She came to TP with her bro and I finally saw her bro hahas. She still look the same and of course, I was shy when i talk to her. I couldnt give her my present due to her bro is there. And she gave us a bag of snacks and keychain. I was so happy about the keychain. It meant a lot to me. And when the rest finish eating, we went up and have fun playing with cards. And when her bro left with his friend for a while, the 3 Cs (Carol, Carolyn and Cynthia) went to toilet together. And i gave her the present with the chance. Quite happy and embassassed in front of her.

After that, Doreen came and we also continuing playing our cards until the 4 of us have to leave for class 3 for ANP retest, 1 for CDS. And she left with doreen. We went up and listen to Mr Rick but we dont have any test at all. We waited for Carolyn to come back and we left together. And from we left the class until to I took the bus with Carolyn and Cynthia, I have this feeling of I lost something but I dont know what is it. And I thought I checked everything.But I was wrong.

At the bus, I suddenly notice that the keychain she gave me which i put on the bag is missing. I was so worried and sad. I look in and out of my bag and I couldnt find it. I even called Malia and they helped me to go back and find. Thanks Malia, Hafiza and whoever helped. But they cant find it too.

I was so depressed and angry, even now. I am still angry at myself that I could wish to die. It so disappointing and furious. I hate myself for losing it. I wish I could find it back. I want the keychain. It's so precious to me. I hate myself. Angry at myself. What a bastard I am.

Sorry to her and I'm really hate myself for losing it.

Bye... I'm depressed

Hey yo.... Today I'm happy for most of the Reverandom...

After school, i went back to Loyang to meet the guys for their o lvl result. When i reached, i was stucked with the security.. But after a while, i managed to get in. And i met Mr Alvin.. Yay and i miss the Western food auntie and Drinks store auntie... Got free food from western food auntie. Thanks....

Then went up outside the hall to see... Heard that this year have 90 plus% passed while my batch got 50 plus % passed. Hey not fair leh... My batch got the guinea pig for exam papers. Argh Never mind. Is a past thing already.

Anyway saw Carel, amanda, furqaan and allison result... Well done 4 of you. I didnt see the rest. Sad but i hope the rest can do well too. Went to mac with allison and then i left her with amanda to meet jasmine and doreen in whitesand.

Saw Jasmine's result... My nu er still ok, say by herself. She was prepared for that... Haiz.

And I met Linda on the way when i was going to mac with allison. Know she wasnt too satisified with her result and cruz she cried when doreen called her. Dun be too upset Linda. You can still go poly... And as the usual saying, What done has been done, no point in getting upset over it. Life still have to go on... So choose what course u wan in poly is the most priority now. Cheer up gal.

And then i went back to school for JCG. I saw a lot of people that i hav not seen for months. Arghh finally i meet them... I MISS JCG... And i played with angelika on tekken 6 AND I WON hahas. And we played wayne game... And wayne mama loses... and is we play 5 rounds he lose 5 rounds.. Cursed lols

Well today i can only say im so busy with taking bus around. I took bus to TP, and then take bus to interchange and then take bus to loyang from interchange and then from loyang take bus to ehub and then walk from ehub to white sand and take from white sand interchange to TP and from TP back home... What a journey..... TIRED AND I HAVE TEST TMR... ROAR

Anyway Byebye night...

Congrats to those who have pass or done well... and cheer up to those who didnt do that well....

Update......

I have been helping TP Open House for the past 3 days. It was so fun being an IIT Guides. Having TP mass dance, guiding, cheers and so on. It was so fun to me, makes me feel that being a guide worth it a lot. But due to that, i'm so sorry to Carol, Carolyn and Cynthia. I have not helped them with the project for MOS storyboard, due to helping of TP Open House. Sorry Gals.

And tmr is O level result come out. I really want to go back to meet the Reverandoms. Gosh It makes me nervous too.

Of course, I have been busy like mad for school. I swear is really burdening now. With so many projects and work.... It really can kill. I hope for hoilday to come as soon as possible. I want to sleep like mad and rest. Just like today.. I spent the whole afternoon sleeping like a log to make up for the loss of sleeping time this week.

Anyway I really like TP open house and TP mass dance and Of course, IITSC. I'm looking forward to the next event with IITSC.

I'm getting more busy with 2 CCAs and projects. Hope I will be fine.... Cruz i already lose my voice from cheering.

And I saw Razi and Mohammad during TP open house... So long never see you guys. Hope see you soon and the Reverandoms.

Night Bye...